Music as a guide for life

Are some people so in tune with music that they are moved to tearful realizations about the meaning of life? Are whole life philosophies inspired by music? Alternatively, are there people who are genuinely apathetic to all music?

If so...what causes this spectrum of personal meaning derived from music? Are some people just more sensitive to nuanced lyrics or spectacularly funky base lines...or have some of us just not found "our artists"? ...and most importantly: Where am I on this scale - can I be getting more out of my music?

I then set out to understand more about what music means to those around me and the conversations ...:

*Particular songs can be associated with specific times/places/people in our lives. A song may trigger a brief sensory memory related to when you first heard it or emotions so overwhelming that you might vault over a couch and smash your hand on the stereo buttons to avoid listening further.

* Some people listen to music to feel an emotion they are not currently feeling. For example, listening to "Fuel" by Metallica first thing in the morning to get pumped.

* While others may use music to accentuate an emotion they are already experiencing. Like listening to love songs after a break-up.

* Some people like to listen to sad songs to feel an intense emotion, while others go out of their way to avoid sad songs because they don't want to feel unnecessarily sad or unhappy. What benefit do we get out of feeling intense emotions? do they make us feel more alive - more present? or can they result in self-absorption and being less present to the rest of the world?

...still pondering
My father just opened our broken refrigerator as an incentive for us all to go to bed. It smells like a gaint fart in here...geez dad.

What is that?

I was in the fresh fruits and vegitables section of a Chinese grocery store was surprised at how many were completely foreign to me. I picked out the strangest-looking ones and took them home with me...

Rambutans are tasty...very much like leechees.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rambutan

I made a dish with the lotus root and the black fungus. My family couldn't eat more than a few bites because of how bitter it was...I may have picked the wrong string of bulbous roots or maybe it just needed to be cooked longer...

To be honest, the rest rotted before I did anything with them, but this was fun and I would like to give each the attention they deserve in the future...with the liklyhood of several iterrations.





http://www.recipeland.com/recipe/22672/

blind for a day

Challenge: experience life without sight for a whole day.

There were several quiet highlights early in the day: eating chocolate while sitting in the warm sun, listening to Vivaldi while lying on the carpet letting my mind paint pictures.

But several hours into the day frustration set in as I slammed into a set of shelves when attempting to enter the "bathroom" (aka. linen closet). Challenges ranged into the kitchen as well and some highlights were identifying items in the refrigerator, making tea (while parents are hovering and telling me not to hurt myself), and chopping an apple (very slowly).

My mother an I went to a 60 min walk to the library and back, which I returned from completely exhausted and overwhelmed. After the first 2 blocks of the walk my mother noted " I feel like I am pulling you" and I replied "there is a good reason for that"...every time a shadow passed over me my muscles contracted, I was clutching my mother's arm and I had the persistent feeling that I was about to get walloped in the head. However, with practice I was able to relax and get walking pretty quickly. Unfortunately, the movement on and off curbs was a work in progress: early up-steps aren't a problem, but late up-steps result in slammed toes. Here is a picture I took of the two of us on the walk.


There were many points during the day where I said to myself: "Screw this! I really need to see now," but I stayed in the dark and struggled through the frustration. I realize how much I am motivated and stabilized by constant visual input: I was mentally exhausted half-way through the day and disoriented by not noticing the movement of the sun or seeing clocks.

Later in the evening I took requests for items to be made of clay.

BONUS: Cactus in the SF arboretum.

My sister shoveling a scoop of dirt over some of my grandfather's ashes in our back yard. My grandfather Jim passed away almost one year ago.

exercise over the holidays...

Needed:
1 Disney movie DVD
48" HD flat screen TV
1 open living room floor
1 nearby pull-up bar (or margarine)
1 or more equally psycho friends or family

Rules:
30-40 situps (your choice) every time an animal appears in a new scene
6-15 pull-ups and 15-20 push-ups at the beginning of every song

Discoveries:
There are 6-7 songs in Cinderella
Cinderella only has one scence with no animals! (the ball)
Cinderella is apparently the longest Disney movie ever
Your lats (the next morning)



Rewards:
Stuffed mushrooms
OR Catherine's mushrooms with banana (vanilla yogurt optional)
OR Catherine's mushroom and baked feta

(NOTE: some rewards in experimental stage)

Alternative-to-TV programming

Hello friends,

if you were the recipient of an anonymous - yet admittedly hilarious - letter made from magazine cut-outs within the last two weeks then you can stop posting in the craig's list "missed connections" section, such as the one pasted below:

"I recently received this letter regarding the edibility of turkey and was hoping it was from you - girl stacking packages in the cookie-aisle of the Cambridge Whole Foods - please send another sign if you are interested in a relationship."

...okay, not really. In fact - thank you Rayna - for being the only one who receives and publicly reacts to mail!!! Eight unique letters were designed and hand-crafted by roommates at Putnam House brought to you by "Alternatives-to-TV" programming.

BONUS PICTURES:

Part of the volleyball team at pratice:
Red tree on Magazine Street on my last day in Boston
What a cute, hip family!

Dr. Cat

I am taking a hiatus from my planned weekly adventures while I spend quality time with my wonderful (and sometimes shirtless) Boston friends...spontaneous adventures with said friends may be documented.

The frontal lobe

The frontal lobe (the part of our brain immediately behind our forehead) was once thought to be inessentialby psychologists. This was assumed because there were case studies of injuries (including a man with a giant steel bar penetrating the front of his skull), where the subjects were capable of most daily tasks despite the massive damage to their frontal lobe. What has been since realized, is that the frontal lobe assists our ability to plan and execute events in the future, and that without it we would be confined to the present.

I contemplated practicing not thinking about the future for a day as my adventure, but I completely chickened out - party because I had a seriously hard time going 60s without thinking about the future. However, given this strong drive to think about the future, we humans find it very difficult (..almost impossible) to remain consistently in the present - an ability that almost all other creatures posses (without choice in the matter). In fact, humans spend lifetimes in the pursuit of staying present through meditation, and the rest of us struggle on a daily basis to stay present to the "now". For example, anytime I almost pass right by a good friend in the hallway without seeing them I realize how far my mind has drifted. ...to address this in your life - I recommend: ...breathing.

today's challenge: despite that interesting intro, I ended up doing something not really related. I tried not to speak the self-referencing word "I" during dim-sum with friends, a meeting with my adviser about my thesis defense, or during volley ball practice ...

This challenge was pretty much a total MISS. After 5 minutes at Dim Sum people asked me why I was so quiet...it was really hard! It was probably painful to hear me speak - because stories you over-thought and awkwardly expressed. In fact this exercise removes me even more consistently from the present because I have to be in my head planning instead being with the people I am with an enjoying their company. I noticed when it is almost impossible to bring up a topic without the word "I" and that some conversations do not need any "I"s at all...interesting, but certainly one of the most half-baked adventures so far...

breathing quickly makes you feel "funny-good"

Adventure: go to "breathwork" class - whatever that may entail.

It turns out to be 90 minutes of intense breathing to latin-flavored, feel-good, techno music - and is AWESOME! I decided while laying on my blanket and pillow, surrounded by about 50 reclined, audibly breathing individuals that I needed this in my life regularly. The first five minutes you still have doubt: "can I realy keep this up for 90 minutes?" - but then you start to tingle...my ears and lips were first...then my whole face, and all of a sudden I was laughing uncontrollably and so were the people around me. Screams of joy broke out and high energy waves rolled through the room swelling into intense manifestations of palpable joy for life.

While breathing, the body and mind are able to unravel themselves - a response different for every body. Several teachers walk around guiding people through particularyly challenging physical or emotional states (cramped hands or sudden saddness) and otherwise walk around (also breathing) guiding the energy in the room. Interesting note: About an hour into the breathing I needed to go to the bathroom and must have hit 3 walls walking down the hall...dizziness upon standing is just a bonus effect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breathwork

Anyway...David's lightness of being is glorious. (David has been my yoga teacher for over 2 years)

http://oneyoga.net/about.html

Also, for those between the ages of 24 and 30 or for some reason are '80s cartoon fans: this was my Halloween costume:

an expression of joy

There is a moment of suspicion after I say "These flowers are for you," and hand a stranger some bright yellow or pink flowers, when they expect to be harangued about religion or asked: "do you care about the starving children in Africa?", but when I smile and begin to walk away, a flood of joy washes over their face. Their surprised, suddenly beautiful faces me all floaty inside.

Spontneous acts of kindness touch everyone who witness them - I suppose that is the power of acting as a pure expression of joy (they are so unexpected). For the first flower I gave away I was sitting on the subway headed toward South Station. I was seated immediately next to one girl and across from another girl who looked exhausted and sad; she leaned her head on the pole to one side of her seat. I pulled out a flower and said quietly to the girl next to me "would you like a flower?" and she said: "yes, thank you." The next time I looked up at the girl across from me - she was beaming.

Also, I highly recommend dressing as an expression of joy (despite your friend's mockery), clearly it can yield fantastic results.

It is tempting to do this adventure every weekend.

A "gentleman" at the gentleman's club.

Challenge 3: Go to a strip club dressed like a man. (Don't worry mothers: adventure participants are never in any physical danger - but only face and overcome mental barriers).

Early yesterday Bryan helped me pick out my "guy-outfit". After struggling through my awkward, psychopath look, I blossomed into this cool dude in the pink shirt. This process involved several awkward moments where Bryan adjusted my tie all the while commenting what an unattractive and creepy guy I make....its tought being a narrow-shouldered guy with a big butt.
Renessaince fair interlude:
Alice, Rayna, Cara and Cat
I was picking hay out of my clothing for the rest of the day...
Little prince - back when dressing up was innocent. At this seemingly family event in the forrest rennaisance fetish meets gothic meets Xena warrior princess....and so I discover yet again: there are worlds within worlds.
After a stop at home to change gears (and outfits - again), we headed off to a classy (no, really) strip club about an hour north. I drank bud light, got offered several lap dances and watched the Red Sox game on a 20 foot tall screen.Bryan got me a much needed shoulder massage from a cute blond in a fitted red sox T-shirt and a very short skirt as an early birthday present - the woman said afterward "you've a lot going on - are you a waitress?" ...I was flattered.

Where's Hobbes?

Adventure 2: Walk around a public place dressed as Calvin (from Bill Watterson's Calvin&Hobbes) asking people if they have seen my tiger Hobbes. If possible, go into detail explaining what Hobbes looks like.

When I asked people in the street if they had seen my tiger Hobbes, I received a range of answers and volunteered responses to my sign: "two blocks to the right" "in my stomach" "no, but I'll keep my eyes open". One homeless woman was very upset by the fact that I couldn't find my tiger and one little girl responded that she was a cat when I asked her if she was my tiger.

Also, I was very concerned by the fact that there seems to some confusion within our community between Hobbes and Tigger, and possibly even with Tony the Tiger. However, I do admit that my "hair" did look like a crown, which may have been misleading, but my drawing of Hobbes was on point.

This monster claimed to have eaten Hobbes...very unfortunate.

Lunch with homeless person

Challenge 1 Goal: Find homeless person in Central Square, Cambridge and offer to buy them lunch in exchange for them telling me stories about their life

Attempt 1: (Sunday around 1pm) Saw a heavy-set blind gentleman asking for change in front of the Starbucks in Central Square. While putting changeg in his metal can I asked how he was doing and he said he was very hot (he was standing in the bright sunshine). He explained that he would be moving on to Harvard square soon since Central Square was "slow" today, but that Harvard Square was much more territorial and he would often be asked to move by individuals who claimed to be asking for change in that area first - which he can't confirm because he can't see. I asked him if he had had lunch yet and he had: a turkey sandwich, but he asked if I could get him a glass of water. I went into starbucks and got ice water with a straw. After giving him the water I walked away with brilliant butterflies in my stomach.

Attempt 2: Later I scouted the area for homeless people not currently A. passed out or B. yelling at random people. I passed a blond woman around 45years old holding a sign reading "homeless / clean&sober / please help". I paused by the entrance to the T-stop, turned around, and put change in her cup and asked her if she had eaten lunch yet. She said she had eaten at the Salvation Army earlier, so I wished her luck and walked away. I got back to the T-stop entrance and paused again: I should really talk to this woman, so I got out a $10 bill and went back to her and said I would like to give her some money in exchange for her telling me about her life. She brushed away the bill and said hesitantly that it was a long story. I told her I would be intereted in anything she would care to share with me and so she started the story of her life that has led her to be homeless and begging for change in Central Square, which began "This is relaly a story of domestic violence....". (Her personal history was not told chronologically but I will try to present it time-sequentially here):

Twenty-five years ago her mother was very sick and she was emotionally dependent on her boyfriend at the time for support. He was always controlling but after they were married he became increasingly violent. He didn't allow her to go out with friends or spend any money herself even though she had helped him purchase two houses over their 20 year marriage. She had wanted to leave him for a long time but he wouldn't let her leave, threatening to kill her and himself. Finally she got a restraining order (which she cited as the biggest mistake she ever made), but he found her and got her to come back home. He stopped threatening to kill her and she lived with him for another 3 years. After 23 years of marriage, he said that she was driving him crazy and that she could leave and so she left with a small amount of money that he gave her. They never had children.

She goes to group therapy, has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and is in temporary housing. She struggles daily to take her medication and have "good days", but nevertheless she has been hospitalized several times in the last year.

I gave her a few dollars, which I assured her I could afford, and walked away with a mix of emotions. I was excited because had overcome a fear-induced barrier and was not entirely surpprised how happy/grateful she was to share stories about her life. I was sad because there are so many stories like this that are genuinely tough. She is struggling - and that counts for a lot. When you have a serious mental illness you need a strong suppoprt network through hospitals, friends/family and a healthy living environment to prevent drug abuse and continued abusive realtionships.